Turkey for Christmas Gone Mad...Not Turducken But Turgooponducheasnishuaichuffguihagaga?

Ok...Christmas is a little less than a week away and I've been doing tons of research since my Thanksgiving post on Turducken (pictured above from a website with an alternate spelling). I know it's silly but there's a lot of written background online and on the blogs. It never fails to amaze me.

I've found the ultimate Turkey line extension (as we call it in marketing). All the bell and whistles you could want.

From Wikipedia. "Some enthusiasts come up with the turduckencorpheail. This is a standard turducken, (Turkey stuffed with duck, hen, and cornmeal) which is then stuffed with a cornish game hen, which is then stuffed with a pheasant, and finally stuffed with a quail. Still others have pushed the envelope even further with the turgooponducheasanishuail, which includes both a goose and capon, in addition to the component birds of the turduckencorpheail. In recent years, another version called the turgooponducheasnishuaichuffguihagaga has been growing in popularity. It has all the properties of the previous two versions listed, but also includes beef, pork, lamb, and frog. The turduckencorpheail, turgooponducheasanishuail, and the turgooponducheasnishuaichuffguihagaga are not for the faint of heart; both are extremely time consuming endeavors, as birds of the proper size must first be obtained, and then prepared; removing extremely fragile bones from a bird such as a quail without breaking the skin is impossible for most."

By the way...before Wikipedia how would we know about this Cajuninsanitywit1800calories that's critical-to-know-stuff. I promise no more Turkish entrees/entries for awhile. Happy Holidays. Canned ham anyone?

Happy Thanksgiving; Are You Eating Turducken Today?

Just in time for Thanksgiving (or maybe a tad late...just saw the ad) arrives the Turducken, found as an Adwords match on my GMail this Thanksgiving morning.

From the site at fmfoods.com
Product Detailed Description
TURDUCKEN = turkey-duck-chicken

This is an amazing meal. We take a whole turkey and de-bone it leaving only the legs and wings. The turkey is stuffed with boneless duck breast and boneless chicken, completely seasoned inside and out and stuffed with our signature dressing. The Turducken weighs 12 lbs. and you can feast on everything! What a deal! (Sic!)

The Cornbread Turducken is stuffed with Cornbread Dressing and Pork & Rice Dressing. Feeds up to 15 people. Net Weight: 12 lbs. $49.95

What great advertising enabled by Internet AdWords...making it possible for Turducken to reach me. As an ad guy I'd suggest getting the word "turd" the heck out of there. Turd is just never a great association with food.

But...depending on how my meal at 4 PM goes, if it's boring I'm ordering up a Turducken for Xmas. How 'bout you? Wonder if I can buy one when the stores open at 5 AM tomorrow? Happy Thanksgiving.

While you're here...take a look at "Look Who's Coming to Thanksgiving Dinner" the Nov. 1 entry. More holiday fun.

Google Now at the Gas Station Pump: Why?

On Wednesday Google, continuing their General Sherman-like march to the sea, announced a partnership with a US gasoline pump manufacturer. That's right...a gasoline pump manufacturer. Believe it. Starting in December Google Maps will be available at 3,500 local gas stations (if they're cool enough) via an internet-connected small screen. You'll be able to scroll through several categories like hotels, restaurants, hospitals and landmarks. Select a destination and print out the directions. No AdWords here. But, in this application, coupons will be available. Now let's connect the dots...which very few reporters have.

Take a look at the Google Map in the previous post below featuring the GooglePages listing of a restaurant near me. That, too, I'm betting, will be available at the pump. So...yet another application for the LBR mapping project. And, for you advertising folks out there, make sure to take notice that Google is now introducing COUPONS into their advertising arsenal...certainly their most traditional advertising offering to date. And...can AdWords be far behind. Gas Pump media. Now that's new media.

(By the way...the Frank Gehry inspired BP station above is at Gehry & Robertson. LA, of course.) Gnite.

Google's New Yellow Pages Project: "GooglePages"?

The screen above, taken from Google Maps, is one place where the Google Phone (I think of it as the Google AdPhone) is going to be monetized big time. This page is the result of a very new Google Labs program in test where Google has "local business reps" (of any and all demominations) gathering detailed business information from storeowners (hours, methods of payment, cute postage stamp pictures of the retailer or restaurant, etc.). Why test putting citizen armies out there? Well just think of this as a much more focused and more extensive Yellow Pages available, most directly, from a Google Phone (or even an Apple iphone indirectly connected). And... there's far more information than was displayed in the Apple iPhone map tv spot about finding and calling the San Francisco seafood restaurant.

Then think about all the AdWords (or AdWord-like-objects you could sell to these retailers to support their listings). Just imagine going into the store with a Google Phone and showing your on-screen coupon to get 20% off a sweater or buy one pizza get one free.

So what you say? Well, 2007 US ad spending is projected by TNS to be $153 billion. Classically, Yellow Pages, both on and offline has been 10% of that market. So that's a potential market of $15B for Google to tap into as they replace the Yellow Pages with AdWords and AdSense--whether on a Google AdPhone or any other Open Alliance phone (more on all this later)

Google Is An Advertising Company: Now Think (Ad) Phone

Much, much truth in the quote below from Forbes. Despite all the detailed speculation about the Google phone, just keep in mind they're using hardware to protect and extend their ADVERTISING SALES DELIVERY SYSTEM. They see it, quite rightly, moving to a mobile market where they can be an even bigger player. Think GooglePages rather than Yellow Pages (more in coming days) and a ton of social networking AdSense advertising bound much more closely to the medium.

"The phone promises to fuse open-source software with Google's applications on a high-end handset. Rubin's team is building custom mobile-phone software atop the free Linux operating system that will bind the phone tightly to Google's online applications and advertising services, sources say. Software from another Google acquisition, Skia, will put a slick user interface on the package. Finally, Google will build all that software into a smart phone built by Taiwanese handset specialist HTC, according to a source familiar with the matter.

In some ways, that's not so different from Microsoft's strategy: put its operating system, and applications such as Word and Excel, onto hardware from HTC, and later on, other manufacturers. That, however, is where the similarities end. "Licensing a mobile OS is not the endgame," UBS analyst Benjamin Schachter wrote in a note to investors last week.

It is dissatisfaction with the ability of today's phones TO CARRY TARGETED ADVERTISING (my emphasis)--rather than a thirst for software-licensing revenues or desire to build cool gadgets--that is pushing Google to take on the mobile-phone market, industry sources say. "[Google] will likely focus on extending its current ad-based economic model," Schachter writes.

In my mind, not "likely" but absolutely. This ain't no iphone.

Why The Digitized "The Last Supper" by Van Gogh Advertising is Sacrilege

First take a look at the post below and at the digitized painting site (blow up the mysterious knife holding hand indicated above). http://www.haltadefinizione.com/en/

Then consider this:

1. Only 300,000 people can view the painting in Milan to protect it from further decay.
2. On the internet millions can now view the painting in much greater detail than in person while soothing music plays. It's a true multimedia experience. And...a brand new way to view art.
3. The internet version of "The Last Supper" is interactive...it's fun to enlarge specific areas of the painting (such Christ's head) or pan from side to side.
4. The success of this should result in more large scale digitized paintings on the net ("The Mona Lisa", Monet's various "Water Lilies," Seurat's grand canvas "Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte" and so on....).
5. So how do you use this in advertising?
6. Well..not the way it's currently done in the remarkably unholy "The Last Supper"
7. Google AdWords link to a.) "Da Vinci Prostatectomy." b.) A link to find paintings on eBay c.) and, finally, an AdWord that makes sense "Milan Last Supper" for Milan tours
8. And...at the bottom a banner ad for Sprungle Swiss chocolate! Like popcorn for viewing the site?
9. Wrong!, Wrong! Robots matching ads to sites...that's the unholy, sacrilegious result here which will work against the sponsors rather than for them. But the site's makers should have their eye on all this and demand changes.
10. Yes...there's a poster of the painting...better.
11. But where is advertising asking for donations to preserve the painting, or for Milan hotels to stay in when you visit to see the masterpiece...or even an Armani corporate ad highlighting a preservation donation
12. That's what's needed here. For the future this is a huge opportunity for museums to highlight major moneymaking exhibitions, to sell posters and books, and travel to these locations. That's the way to monetize digital art.

Why Did Google Recently Purchase Three Social Software Companies: Dodgeball, Jaiku & Zingku?

My previous post reviewed Google's recent acquisitions of three social software companies and briefly profiled each one. Read it below. Here, as promised, is a more detailed discussion of the rationale for purchasing these companies.

Dodgeball, Jaiku, and Zingku are all, in one way or another cellphone-IM communications. It's a market that's still quite open in the US.

To understand the potential market size you need to look at Europe. Texting in the UK (the market we're most familiar with) is the basis of all cell communications for 18-26 year olds in the university market. Part of this is that prepaid minutes are much more popular over there than in the US and that you can send 20 texts in the U.K. for the price of a minute's conversation.

Young Europeans text everything, complex plans, where to meet, news, even long conversations. On average probably 10-20 texts per day. And unlike here in the US, they're always on Instant Messenger.

So if text becomes less expensive in America and Google has all the cool text-related sites they're looking at a potentially huge market. In the emerging age of iphone (or if a Googlephone exists?), These will be great places to sell video or visual AdWord-like-objects that become SOCIALLY relevant in an immediate manner.

Plus...these sites will also get radical upgrades which will also make them even more desirable for the European market.

We've been using Dodgeball at Jugular, and I'll explain how it might all work in the next entry (thanks to Katie, our Jugular intern for her smart research and insight).